Reaching any point of clarity, of readiness – collision of memories, accomplishments, people, plans and dreams – jumping off. To someplace new, leaping with newfound energy. Like a frisky puppy but without reckless abandon, probably more ‘slower old-dog’.
Speaking of old dogs, I’m realizing there are parallels between our countdowns – every day Gusta has an expectation of unlimited life, yet I know otherwise. Her life expectancy is 12-14. She’s 12½. We both eat, sleep, work and play as if nothing has changed; gradual shifting is just that, gradual …
Not knowing if someone has better information, my countdown continues. Originally targeted at age 95, now revised to 105, reminds me each day of my continued ‘great expectations’.
Unrestrained. Contemplating much longer life, requires I collide with more people, bump into ideas – and every day, collisions of fingers and keys. Everything is important until it isn’t except for things which are and always will be important. They just are. You just know.
People and events don’t show up randomly in our life. They show up as part of the world unfolding – we didn’t decide it or predict it, but we witness it. I used to not pay enough attention to events and people who might be important. I’ve swung the other way, paying more attention and noticing the importance more. Better. Fine.