PAST HAS MANY FACES
Wednesday Sept. 17, 2014
Just when everything seemed OK – difficult or painful issues, people and pasts rear heads. Sometimes, they’ve been there all along. Ignored, shoved aside, let fester or not given attention.
Why do those cause angst, remind what was, how we were, what we’ve done – not pretty stuff? Painful stuff, not so dainty stuff.
Any given day reminders, voices from past – mirrors to reflect who we are, who we were and who we want to be. Some people make us smile. Some enrage us. Some engage us in great discussions. Some defy us. Some defy belief. Some we wish we’d never met. Some, we wish we’d known all our lives.
What can we do?
Some people are fans, some are foes. The rest don’t care.
I’ve been adopting some new ways of seeing others, seeing the world of opportunity, myself and my work over the last couple of months.
Results come slowly.
Then they come fast.
Sometimes it is hard to determine what is what, because changes don’t wear labels, nice people don’t wear nice uniforms and crazy mean-spirited folks don’t wear sweatshirts identifying their evil-team membership.
There are people, ideas and practices worth collecting – not to hoard, but to keep swirling in our lives. Good stuff. Great connections – not because there’s an angle to be worked, deal to be done, money to be earned or some debt to be repaid.
But because there is value in those moments, in those experiences.
All of which seems so good, so appropriate, so kind …
No matter how good things are – there is always some dark cloud in some corner of the sky. On those days, when we see dark, when someone reflects back the bad, the past, the crappy, the ugly, the painful – we need to realize, and be reminded, the sun never stops shining and those who matter still do. Those that never did, likely never will.
Yesterday.
Call from MK.
I’m concerned about him. Didn’t sound as OK as usual.
Got a card from YF (thanks so much, I’ll treasure it).
An email this morning from LC. He wants to have lunch.
Lots of non-monetary abundance, positivity – absolutely. It’s floating around like invisible pollen in the air.
Of all debts we can never repay, no matter how hard we try, kindnesses people show us when they don’t have to – when we needed it most – resonates.
I have my collection of people who believed in my when others didn’t. Who’ve showed faith and trust in me when others wouldn’t. Who’ve given me 3rd chances when I’d blown my 2nd ones …
Over and over. I have this collection.
Many memories – many faces, many places – treasures no creditor or bad storm of difficulties can ever take from me.
When we are down a quart, when we are down and can’t see upward – that’s when those treasured moments, treasured faces, treasured deeds mean the most, steady us most and best. There will always be thorns in our side, pains in the tucchus and bad memories we cannot forget or correct. In those toilet-swirl moments of pain, look up at those faces, those places – no person or event can ever take those away. Dwell on that!
Mark Kolke
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 7C/45F, clear again, each day edging warmer again – so much warmth in the air which seems to spread itself in strange ways. Gusta and I had a very long walk, very long – lots to think on this morning. Perhaps I needed it more than she did but the extra exercise can only be good ..
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
morning walk may be better/different in the south Pacific; but you won't have Gusta to chaperone you. Really different! GW, Bon Wier, Tx.
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