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INTERNAL COMBUSTION ORGAN

Wednesday Sept. 6, 2017 


Why is it important to describe feelings about something in words everyone can understand?

Only person who needs to understand me is me.

Nobody else.

Trying to explain to you, or anyone, what it is I feel, why must that be expressed in English language words of less than four syllables from a drop-down menu?

My point: we don’t understand our own feelings very well (no wonder we have trouble understanding someone else’s)

My why: we deserve it, deserve to know ourselves, deserve to define our boundaries, our creativity and our reasons (without need or requirement to publish our WHY).

Getting to WHY, interesting struggle – possibly my hardest struggle yet. Likely my best.

Not some un-scalable wall or mountain. More likely, tiny speedbump I need to get up, get over.

Hard. Important. Invaluable.

I found a drop-down menu question: “What are your goals for your book?” on a publisher’s website. Good sentences. But missing something. Could be: ‘other’ or, my preference: “insert your reason here”. Not to say there weren’t good statements there that you or I could identify with, but I couldn’t imagine using someone’s cookie-cutter bullet point to capture my reasons for writing or for living, for loving, for aching, for crying, or jumping for joy – because emotion is an internal combustion organ. Everyone who ever felt anything knows this, yet we wrestle with external common words to describe them.

Life. Yours. Mine. Everyone’s is not a multiple choice question. Refining question, defining answer – a life’s work. Body of work.

You might assert, ‘knowing my WHY I write’ isn’t the same as my ‘WHY I live’.

You would be wrong.

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