It is not certain, determined or inevitable that anything happens, that anyone is right or that we are wrong – we just are who we are.
Sometimes that includes observing more critically that someone else is who they are. Our power to change them is, was and always will remain zero.
Every once in a while, urge to tell someone how much of a wrong-headed jerk they are overcomes any form of restraint I would normally exercise.
Jerk and I – had testy e-mail exchange. Good thing. Face to face, someone might have been punched in the nose. Neither would back down. Both, horribly wrong in some way.
Easy, dealing with jerks, to be drawn down to that level when the only real solution is silence, tongue-biting. That way, he’d still be a jerk, but I wouldn’t be. But I took the bait.
People of all ages can be idiots. People of all ages can be kind. People of all types can be generous. People of all types can be horribly two faced – or some show all that is horrible in one face all the while masking that reality. As if no one would notice.
We are all, when we speak of what we want to be, ought to be, try to be and actually are – would call ourselves kind, generous, decent and fair. Too bad more of us aren’t right when we say that.
If you find someone gets under your skin today, shed that skin.
If you can’t avoid that jerk – remember, you always can.
If I encounter a jerk today – I can choose a different street, I can walk a different path. I can turn a blind-eye, a deaf-ear or simply ignore the ignoram-azz.
I could offer the olive-branch of kindness, but does that work?
As I think about my mini-rant, I wonder if dozens or hundreds of years from now, when we are just bones and dust, will anyone know or care that I was right and he was wrong. Moreover, will anyone know or care that he was wrong, an idiot and clearly in need of being told so?
I’ll know. I might not dance on his grave, but maybe I’ll be dancing in mine.
This is all a silly notion on a beautiful Sunday morning, to dwell in the yesterday, when there is so much good about today. So I’m going golfing. Perhaps, on a few drives, I’ll be imagining the call as that jerk. I might hit him out of bounds – which might be a good idea, because he has no place in my life or on my path.
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 12C/54F, mostly clear, steady breeze – a great day shaping up in advance of a few days of rain/snow risk. Gusta seems so much more content on cooler mornings – but it is still hard to say if she is shedding her summer coat or growing her winter one …
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