MUSINGS and other writing by Mark Kolke

. . . . . . there is no edge to openness

TODAY'S MUSINGS

FEEDBACK / COMMENTS

MARK SPEAKS

MARK'S SPEAKING TIPS

ARCHIVED COLUMNS

ARCHIVE WINTER 2020-21

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2020

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2020

ARCHIVE SPRING 2020

ARCHIVE WINTER 2019-20

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2019

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2019

ARCHIVE SPRING 2019

ARCHIVE WINTER 2018-19

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2018

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2018

ARCHIVE SPRING 2018

ARCHIVE WINTER 2017-18

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2017

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2017

ARCHIVE SPRING 2017

ARCHIVE WINTER 2016/17

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2016

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2016

ARCHIVE SPRING 2016

ARCHIVE WINTER 2015/16

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2015

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2015

ARCHIVE SPRING 2015

ARCHIVE WINTER 2014/15

ARCHIVE AUTUMN 2014

ARCHIVE SUMMER 2014

ARCHIVE SPRING 2014

ARCHIVE WINTER 2013/14

CONTACT

MY REAL ESTATE LIFE

WHY I WRITE MUSINGS

SHORT STORY PROJECT

POETRY PROJECT

SELECTED OTHER WORK


I BUILT MY BRIDGE


Wednesday, Sept. 11, 2019
 
Across many bridges. Mountains too. Two years ago, three-day journey to Vancouver to spend time with someone I’d met online.
 
Communicating a few months – most of which she was travelling extensively. When at home we talked daily. When travelling, we texted or emailed and often connected by phone also. Did I mention she was bright, attractive and charming? Retired, widowed, mentally and physically fit and active and very involved in community volunteer work. She had no dogs, no children. Having a science background, she gardened at a very high level of horticultural sophistication. Great with plants, but looking back I wish she’d been more rooted in effective human interactions, which is to say I wish she’d been a different person!
 
I planned that trip, our ‘very big deal’ date and itinerary brilliantly. A great lunch, afternoon beach walking and extraordinary dinner amidst a spectacular rooftop garden. We both described it as ‘best first date ever’.
 
Next morning’s reality focused conversation, our relationship potential ground to a halt. I got over it, learned everyone has their very own definition of magical.
 
Looking back now I’m sure we were not a good match. It wasn’t about geography or logistics. No sense of longing about it. I sometimes reflect on those two months – the building up, the high expectations, the let-down – much like the plot arc of a novel. (insert lightbulb icon/novel idea!).
 
Seared in memory, her last e-mail told me: “… that I should not confuse silence with rejection”.
 
Hadn’t heard that line before.
 
Haven’t heard from her since.
 
More good reminiscence than not – more good lesson than anything.
 
I’m over it.
 
 
*today’s title deserves attribution – Annie from New Jersey gave it to me years ago, her suggestion to people having conflict and struggling to move on. Sage advice.


 
 
 


 
Mark Kolke, Realtor, MaxWell South Star Realty

sign up to get Musings free daily


Comments are always welcome - please contribute to the discussion.  Reply to: kolke@markkolke.com

You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. This site is updated daily, each column is retained in the archive when the next day's column is loaded ...  


Copyright - all rights reserved - Mark Kolke, © 2003-2021