Across many bridges. Mountains too. Two years ago, three-day journey to Vancouver to spend time with someone I’d met online.
Communicating a few months – most of which she was travelling extensively. When at home we talked daily. When travelling, we texted or emailed and often connected by phone also. Did I mention she was bright, attractive and charming? Retired, widowed, mentally and physically fit and active and very involved in community volunteer work. She had no dogs, no children. Having a science background, she gardened at a very high level of horticultural sophistication. Great with plants, but looking back I wish she’d been more rooted in effective human interactions, which is to say I wish she’d been a different person!
I planned that trip, our ‘very big deal’ date and itinerary brilliantly. A great lunch, afternoon beach walking and extraordinary dinner amidst a spectacular rooftop garden. We both described it as ‘best first date ever’.
Next morning’s reality focused conversation, our relationship potential ground to a halt. I got over it, learned everyone has their very own definition of magical.
Looking back now I’m sure we were not a good match. It wasn’t about geography or logistics. No sense of longing about it. I sometimes reflect on those two months – the building up, the high expectations, the let-down – much like the plot arc of a novel. (insert lightbulb icon/novel idea!).
Seared in memory, her last e-mail told me: “… that I should not confuse silence with rejection”.
Hadn’t heard that line before.
Haven’t heard from her since.
More good reminiscence than not – more good lesson than anything.
I’m over it.
*today’s title deserves attribution – Annie from New Jersey gave it to me years ago, her suggestion to people having conflict and struggling to move on. Sage advice.