WILDLY FREE
Monday Apr. 15, 2013
In thriller movies, in kidnapping novels, proof of life is bandied about when ransom is to be paid. Have you wondered, if you had to – could you prove you are alive?
I mean, truly, alive, vital, dynamic, thinking, feeling? Are we, really, feeling that alive, or simply going through motions with our daily routines holding us up like a skeleton with our lives simply waving in the wind like stiff shirts on the clothesline on a brisk spring day?
Wake up!
The door is open, course charted (subject to change without notice), should my dream find its way to my door.
Or should I venture out to find yours?
When reality and dreams merge, perhaps that is perfection, but I doubt we’ll rest long when we find it, but it would be so nice to rest a while. So nice.
I’ve read much about finding peace – as spectacular objective I ought chase. I walk past a cemetery every day and expect those folks are at peace, but hardly happy . . .
When we check into a hotel, we call the desk to order a wake up call. Last night, most of us slept at home – and set an alarm, or two. We’ve grown accustomed to having outside forces wake us, when all along it has been our own responsibility. Sure, we all have schedules – but that isn’t my point and by now you know that.
Awakening doesn’t work with a phone call or noise-making device. And I’m not so sure it happens in the morning. But when it happens, I think we sit up straighter, see more clearly – insightfully, prepared of course, whetting ourselves in anticipation.
An awakening is like a first smile or handshake – and each time we exchange them we are, for ourselves or others, risking that beginning which may end badly, or not. May not change our life.
But it might.
Are you ready for that?
The world is in order this morning.
Isn’t it?
How can we know?
Newscasts telling us some Korean brat no longer plans to blow things up, or is it a full cupboard of food, our family safe, our banks sound, neighbours doing well, government open for business, roof not leaking or do we measure it better hearing soft words from someone – or harsh ones just for good measure – so that we feel the wresting of our head from its pillow, or when wind slaps our face that we have proof we didn’t die overnight?
And none of us can say ‘the world’ when we talk of this, can we, because I can only speak to ‘my world’, and you to yours. Pairs or teams or groups of people say ‘our’ but really, truly, they can only speak of, for and about themselves. Why then, especially with couples, do they feel the need to speak with one voice? I’ve been wondering about that. A lot. Perhaps it is the onset of spring and some yearning of the affectionate kind that has me again/still, seeking a mate. Someone to admire, someone to mount, someone to desire, someone who counts, someone for play, someone to stay, someone like me in no discernable way, someone who thinks and jabs and pokes at me with views I don’t know and ideas I’ve not thought, someone who sees life as a race to be prolonged, someone who brings me up to account on odd days, says nice things on the even, balanced and fair.
You see, . . . there is reality.
Then there is fantasy.
And we keep struggling – thankfully – to make one into the other, don’t we?
mind
can
work-out
without
leaving
its
chair,
or
can
sleep
so
comfortably
there.
Peacefulness, I would argue, might be as pleasant and exciting as standing stagnant water in need of stirring up. Stirring up in a physical sense – getting active, working-out, gym-tripping etc. is well known goodness for the body, but what about the mind?
Think of life – it is this huge chess board, each square might be a country or two apart, each piece with unique moves to make – such large distances might appear impossible for a knight to win a queen without crossing vast oceans and shifting sand dunes in chase (or maybe it is just a short drive down the road) of just one taste, a glimmer of it, a dreamy sweetest juiciest ending . . . of a story.
Proof of life – is not defending our life, justifying where we’ve been or the choices we’ve made – but for me it is whether we have thrill and desire in mind, expansion of our thinking in mind, exploration of ourselves and others more than travel, spelunking dark caves of what makes us think/tick, throwing ourselves at life as if we are a wildly expressive Jackson Pollock painting. Not tortured or twisted, but wildly free.
What is left behind seems huge and risky, but compared to what can be found ahead, a modest investment to make or price to pay.
Next time someone invites you to explore anything, any place or anyone new . . . the correct answer is YES. What do you have to lose? Sure, you could lose everything – but you won’t lose who you are unless you are prepared to leave that behind . . .
Mark Kolke
295,180
P.S.: to someone who asked - time (average) to write this kind of piece; this morning was 25 minutes + 15 minutes editing/shortening to fix it which somehow always makes it longer +15 more to polish it
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: -5C /23F, clearing off, snow softening, my cranky ankle, dog and I went up the hill and right we turned, right into the path of a very motivated bull-terrier(male) who was quite interested in Gusta but strong armed owners kept them at bay – sniffing distance only – and we were on our way
Comments Received:
Hey Mark, You do so much writing, have you ever thought about writing a book? As an award winning author I would highly recommend it as its the most challenging and rewarding thing I have ever done! Cheers/drive safe!, RL, Calgary, AB
and then…. the snow came. Good thing you went yesterday not today. I love the reflective nature of this post. Very deep. And on target for me today. Off to live my life the way I want it today – regardless of the snow! , LG, Calgary, AB
I read your latest daily musing. You have quite a gift there, congratulations on finding such an effective way to exercise it and share it with the world. How long does it take you to write your column each day?, VR-H, East Northamptonshire, UK
