Which do you do more of ~ over-commit or under-commit?
Most people answer, “that depends”.
Depends on what, on who? And why?
Why is that?
Whether we’re committing to do something for a customer, neighbour or friend - should we under-do for some, over-do for others? I’ve seen myself and many others in action for a few decades now, so I think I have sufficient information to take a stab at answering this.
It would be simplistic to say it depends on our relationship with the party – implying those people and companies who matter most to us get our full effort while others where our relationships are inferior just don’t. That might fit our heads – in terms of triage: whose call to return first, which piece of time-sensitive work to take care of first.
But it’s much deeper and far more complex?
What explains doing some of our best work for our most difficult customers? What explains our deepest regrets over little things that offended those who ought to love us most and forgive us most easily?
What about the sloppy work we did for someone who didn’t seem to matter very much? What about calls not returned, appointments ‘forgotten’, promises ‘implied’ but not kept, what about that infamous, “I’ll call you” and its companion, “can’t talk right now – I’ll call you back”.
We all realize sloppy work rarely wins return or future business from anyone, which leads to this question (no need to answer – but we all NEED to ask it), are we doing sloppy/lazy work with those who matter most?
I think it is about character.
Some people care and some people couldn’t care less.
The saying goes, ‘birds of a feather flock together’. Look around. Who are you flocking with?
My assertion is – we generally associate with people who are like us , motivate themselves in a similar fashion and can be counted on to have similar values – especially when it comes to their commitments.
I don’t expect someone to take my call or keep an appointment with me when an emergent situation manifests in their life – but otherwise I do expect them to return calls, keep appointments, show up on time, deliver what they promise and be reciprocal in how they deal with me. We flock together for a reason, which does not make us perfect. Just perfect for each other. People who set their bar lower, people who aren’t engaged ~ they’re over there, in a different flock.
More important that ‘who we want to hang out with’, is this: “who wants to flock with us because the like our way, our sense of commitment and loyalty?”
Just catching up on your Musings and this one Mark was a good one for me. Just to give you a reminder to our past conversation I decided after much sole seeking and learning about this Mortgage business I found it wasn't a fit for me. I don't have the qualifications in this field I think that would be needed. So I am still looking at other possibilities, but finding with age comes limitations of what you can do and who will take you on. Funny, I wish I would have done this work 30+ years ago, would have been a different road I am sure. I have listened to many tell me I am not good enough, not talented enough, not smart enough and for 40 years I listened to their words. Recently I decided to focus on Self. Focusing on better myself so that I can maybe achieve and find my purpose, not passion. I decided 2019 was my year to learn, to grow, to change and most of all find the confidence within myself to go forward. I'm on a journey I have never been before, but your Musings, your thoughts and encouragement put me on this path. I realized there was so much I wanted to do and so much I missed out on. I realized that I have been in the box to long so to speak. I am taking for me a Daily 365 Day Challenge and in the past 30 days it's helped me learn about me, what my faults are, what my strengths are. It's helping me to understand things I could never do before. Thank you Mark. Sometimes people or things cross our paths and they become a focus or a teaching moment in one's life. Not sure what this year has in store, what will happen career wise, but learning to turn the negative into the positive is a huge stepping stone for me and so far I am loving some of the outcomes of doing just that. Thank you for crossing my path and being part of this journey, even though you probably don't realize you were. Take care and wish you continued Success, MJ, Calgary, AB
If you liked any Musing column, it would mean a lot to me if you let me know. Comments always welcome - please contribute to the discussion. Reply to: email@example.com. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. You can sign-up friends at: MarkMusing.com . This site is updated daily, each column is retained in the archive when the next day's column is loaded ...
I publish FACILITYCalgary, weekly newsletter, free every Tuesday; to sign up, CLICK HERE