MUSINGS and other writing by Mark Kolke

. . . . . . there is no edge to openness

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SCENE FROM AN EARLY MORNING …
Friday, February 4, 2022
 
Scene from an early morning recently – in the dark silence of the early morning, I was quietly muttering under my breath …
 
“Fuck … fuck fuck fuck … double fuck!”
 
“Please, just go back to bed, don’t come out here – don’t wish me a pleasant day, don’t come at me naked and in need of a hug – you know I can’t resist that. Just stay away, be quiet, please leave me alone.”
 
I meant that in a nice way. Truly, I did. I would never have said that aloud. But, in that moment, that was my feeling. And when I explained later in the day, hours after that delightful and completely enjoyable morning greeting that interrupted my rhythm, a discussion ensued that felt both import and also instructional. She didn’t want to get up and wish me a pleasant day either – she wanted to go back to bed, back to sleep – but she was getting up to say goodbye/good-day to me out of a sense of obligation and expecting that I would be expecting it …
 
We all know these things don’t go well unless talked about, but then we talked about it.
 
Here’s my take:
 
Sure, we all want to say those things in a nice way, but we don’t – we mutter our frustrations under our breath or stifle them altogether. The great thing about having a relationship with someone who has travelled a similar and healthy path to get here is that this kind of dialogue plays out in a very healthy way.
 
Having said that, I don’t know what she’s muttering under her breath when I do annoying things, but I trust that they’ll come out in conversation. Probably a far more polite and dignified fashion – because she is, on her worst day, far more polite and dignified than I am on my best day.
 
 
 
Reader feedback:
 
I CANNOT HELP YOU
Boy you nailed it today Mark. You left out all the Wanna Be Life Coaches who tell you what you want to hear but never follow what they preach. Take Everyday as it comes. Start each day like it's a New Day my Dad always said. Find what works for you and run with it. We all add value to life everyday. But I find the people who think they are better then others, are the people I tune out in a heartbeat. We all started at the bottom, some climbed the mountain faster then others, but the ones who remember what it was like to climb that mountain, who reach down to help someone else get up that stretch are the people I have the utmost respect for. They never take their success for granted. Those are the people to follow. They don't have their hands in your pockets, they have their hand on your Shoulder. Look forward to hearing you speak, MJ, Calgary, AB
 
 
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