THE GREAT ESCAPE
Tuesday, January 26, 2021 - daily column #6649
Fellow night owls,
Does this stuff keep you up at night?
I wanted to pick up the phone yesterday – had some news, something intriguing to tell them about.
No point calling Frank.
Though Frank surprised me the other day – I got an email that looked like it was from him, but he’s been dead two years, so I’m sure it was somebody’s computer being played by a virus sending to every address in that computer as if it was Frank.
But, for a couple of minutes, it felt magical.
No point calling my dad, Gary, Mike, or Barbara. Or Barry. They’re gone too.
Sure, I’ve got friends and colleagues to tell, and their laughter would soothe that sore – but reality of loss never gets simplified. It just gets more distant in time, but intensity is slow to fade. A loss in the past doesn’t hurt as much as recent ones, but it should still hurt, right?
All my hurts aren’t from people who are dead, or ones I might wish were gone, but the sharper pang comes from those who are just fine, but they’re gone from my life for different reasons.
For those deep hurts, nobody to blame but myself.
But when sad or mad or too-bad creeps in again, I need an escape.
It’s not avoidance or denial of reality.
It’s a necessary escape from it, for a while.
Brain candy. A vacation of the mind. A massage for the ego, maybe a nap too, and our mind wanders to places in time when we’ve witnessed something magical.
And we do that for a while, and then remind ourselves that great moments in life don’t happen by wishing them so – but also realizing we must have our wits about us, our eyes and ears open or we might miss something unfolding right in front of us.
And return to what we were doing – that lasts a while, and then we need that boost again, that mental simulation of what others say, “Cannot be – cannot be again, and was it really that good the first time?”
A movie, a book, a round of golf, skiing on a sunny spring day, garden preening – we all have our diversions for recreation, sport, social activities – and then normal/regular life resumes.
But not quite, right?
I’m not talking about COVID-lockdowns or periods of political paralysis or about ageing – though each of these takes its toll, and we need/want/crave escape.
What sets in is reality.
By that, I mean, it’s not about ‘the reality’ as much as it is about ‘accepting our reality’ that challenges us most of all.
I’ve been wrestling with this issue lately, trying to articulate an argument for an initiative I’m working on, one where I need to move people to action, to encourage their support, get them to add voices to that initiative. Clear to me now, I need to be more convincing about how the reality of life will change – but how do I make that case?
My reality was here all along.
My mind needed an escape for a short while, some dreamy ideas, a delicious notion – a life full of emotion, and who wants to escape that?
Despite my wishes to the contrary, we don’t get out of life alive.
Reader feedback:
Yep , you have undiagnosed ADHD, AN, Calgary, AB
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