THE WHY PART
Monday July 8, 2013
It was an emotional but very pleasant bit of story telling. I loved the book but found it odd that there were no explanations of the pieces beyond their titles, no context of where is head and heart were at when he did them, no information about who bought them, owns them or where they hang. That was so important to him. He was so proud his work hangs at Buckingham Palace, that he sold pieces to rich and famous types, actors and tycoons, that he did that mural, in that school – the one I commissioned him to do. Those stories ought to be told because Dale was such a great story teller. His face beamed with pride when he did well . . .
His work had such passion and power in it. I saw both serious and light sides of him in life but haven’t spent much time with him since his death. I bought that book – not just a coffee table book, about art – the works of my late friend Dale Auger. They don’t sell his work there. But, like most galleries, they sell art books. I told some stories to the clerk in the gallery who wanted to know if I knew Dale. (I went there yesterday to see some bronze pieces by my friend Donna Wilson – as good a reason as any for a drive in the country on a Sunday).
Looking through his work pointed my mind at this question of why? I walk by a reproduction of one of his pieces many times a day – located there on purpose so I see its strength, hope and inspiration many times a day, but I haven’t asked why?
Not why did he have such an impact on my life, but why was he driven to do what he did. Obviously, talent matters. But why? Sure, to make a living. He was accomplished in many areas and could have made a fine living as author, comedian, story teller or university professor, so why did Dr. Auger pour his energy so deeply and fully into his art to the point of exhaustion as he prepared for his annual show?
Will is better than won’t.
Do is better than don’t.
This day is not like any other. It could be a day of survival, or horror, or one of salvage or success, or miraculous solutions to difficulties – or just like some day from the past. Most days, I think, have all those potential elements. The differences are derived from what we feel down to our toes, difficult to define but very possible to know.
Do you have what it takes, vigor and vitality, punch, gumption and the get-up-and-go required to survive the pressure? Or is it urging on both self and others to arouse and propel, spur or steamroll? Stimulated, or herded, induced or instigated, kicked or kicked up a notch?
In football, keeping the drive alive leads to points on the scoreboard.
In life some people have drive.
Some people had drive.
Some people have never had drive.
I wonder where they all fit on a happiness graph?
Is drive essential, valuable – is it a desirable characteristic?
Is it an attractive quality, or something worth giving a wide berth?
I know it when I see it, I feel it when I feel it, I see it in some, never see it in others – which is not to say it isn’t present, because some people keep it out of sight.
I’ve been experiencing drive from a new vantage point this past year – interviewing interesting folks about town, for my FACILITYCalgary publication. I find it fascinating to learn what makes people tick – less about what made them successful or noteworthy, but to better understand what differentiates them from others who achieve less, what separates to clear-headed ones on a mission from those who just show up. It has been an interesting study.
There are many common denominators among them – but the one I’ve noticed most is the presence of drive. At first I might have called it focus or concentration, bravado or pride, accomplishment over difficult odds and spirit surviving adversity, but I’ve found there is an intangible element – drive. Drive and being driven.
So, what is this thing called drive?
I hear it, read about it and think I have it – but most things I read on the subject discuss motivation, ask what is at the root of it, what is the cause or the inspiration – and I’m not so sure about that.
Having drive, or being driven is a state of mind – which for me isn’t a cause and effect equation. Perhaps it is and I just don’t see it.
Drive gets me out of bed in the morning, makes we work into the night – accounts for working hard and playing are mostly, I think, for trying hard.
Trying hard doesn’t win points, dollars or pitches – but very few people consistently win points, earn dollars or sell what they are pitching unless they are trying hard and consistent.
So, being consistent, trying hard, working hard – and wanting to, seems to be part of it, an important part.
But when I get up in the morning and go at I again for another day I don’t feel hesitant or tentative, don’t feel reluctant at all.
Every day I write what I feel and that feels good. Every day I take a few steps into uncharted territory – and that feels good. Every day I find myself closer to getting off my treadmill and closer to my goals – which seems, so far, to be feeling better and better every day.
I wake and do what I love to do. I tell people what I think, I write down what I feel and go around with more confidence I am doing the right things with my life than I did the day before.
I care about people – not all people, but some people. I try to help people. Not all people, but some, and they seem to appreciate it. I love my family and my dog. I don’t enjoy the fruits of anyone else’s labour – just my own.
I’ve been finding that I can help people. That feels good and they seem grateful. I find I sometimes inspire people, and they seem to appreciate it.
All things I do which I would describe as productive, progressive or helpful don’t make up for the many times I’ve failed, or struggled in futility, for time or money I wasted, for people I hurt and those I’ve alienated. But that pushes me. More. To do more, better – not so I can pay back un-repayable losses but so I can go on to do more. To do better, to be better.
I don’t have any better answers that those.
It doesn’t feel like driven to succeed, as much as it is driven to do.
Driven to write.
Driven sometimes to fight, for what I think is right.
Driven to provide better service today than I’ve done before, do a little more than I’ve done before . . .
I think I understand how drive and being driven works, but I struggle to understand the why part.
Mark Kolke
294,364
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 13C / 55F, overcast, rain let up - then started again in earnest just before we went out. I love the rain. So does Gusta, perhaps for different reasons (she’s been shaking and spraying walls with wet since we came in) – especially when it is a ‘not cold’ rain. Steady, even – no wimpy drizzle, no downpour, no wind to drive it. As wet as I am, I don’t think I leaked . . . I’m warm and dry on the inside.
Comments Received:
Good Monday to you : ) , AG, Playa del Carmen, Mex.
