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Saturday June 30, 2018

Second half, third period, fourth quarter, ninth inning, tie-break and playoff …

We understand these terms from basketball, hockey, football, baseball, tennis and golf – representing last chances …

Every game, every sport has its last lap as we stretch for the final buzzer, for the finish line …

But is it the end?

In most cases, no.

Just another game, another day, another stepping stone …

In the game of life – do life’s chapters work the same way – each one being a sequential stepping stone to what comes next, to the after, to the after that and ultimately to some kind of ‘hereafter’ or next outing?

I meet people across this spectrum, on one extreme those feeling there is no worthy/next chapter they’ll see or want to pursue. On the other extreme, many stuck in the starting gate, stuck in their current situation, afraid to move for fear they’ll make the wrong move …

Which is not to suggest that stuck people are not worthy or living dynamic lives – in fact, very often, we can’t see their ‘stucked-ness’ because they are shining so brightly at what they are doing, where they are and where they are convinced they are destined to say. But stuck they are.

Coloured by circumstance – there is a reason for being stuck, sometimes painfully obvious to watch, yet their ears are often unwilling to hear about what we so-called observers so easily see.

Being stuck, for all of us, is something we need to do sometime. A tow-truck can haul us out of a ditch or muddy ruts, but getting unstuck from a deep dark corner of life is another matter. Or is it? Can we lift someone out, can we haul them away from their grief, pull them away from the pain or the fire or whatever is burning them up?

And if we can/could, should we.

Sure they need time, they need space – we all do.

Someone taught be a term about 22 years ago; about grieving losses is ‘grieving of the loss of expectations’. In that context, someone lost a child – and could never experience all those expectations, normal ones, they had been looking forward to – of seeing that child grow and flourish in life. That was over.

I see people unable who are unable to unhook from their stuck place – their loss they cannot grieve, their inability to get over something small because, to them, it isn’t small at all …

Reader feedback:

JOY OF PIE

What a great topic and so truthful. We all strive to get there in one way or another. For me my slice of pie is being able to help someone become successful in achieving their goals and dreams. That's my slice of the pie, MJ, Calgary, AB


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