LIVE LIFE
… in our own time on our own terms
Sunday Mar. 30, 2014
when
we see ourselves
in the rearview mirror or
look back over our shoulder to
see every bitter-sweet place we’ve been
we
never
look back
to where we’ve been
but to who we’ve been …
so focused on where
we are going because we need
to get to some better place than this
if it can’t be here it must be far away
so where do we start looking for what was lost
or what we’ve never found before?
it must be far away or we would not be running
after something and we might find it
there
somewhere over there
or nearer here
as if the answer is in some place
rather than inside ourselves
we live life
in our own time
on our own terms
knowing who we are and
nothing changes who we are
we feel
all alone
we feel
all along
we feel
we don’t need much
we feel
we don’t need anyone
but when
we feel
we need our lonely times understood
wherever you are
you are here
wherever you are
I am here
we experience life where we are
wearing skin we were born with
we cannot run away from ourselves
no matter how far we fly or run
assets
income
position and success
don’t matter much . . .
love is
only lost
if it never was
this is all that we have and all
that we need to know
love is not lost
if it goes away
time and experience are all we have
questions begging answers are all we have
growth and decay
we live life
that way
My life has been blessed by kindnesses of far more people being far better to me than I have often been to them – for which I am grateful.
I was asked ‘what’s changed?’ for me lately. Aside from the obvious tasks, sadness and adjustments following my dad’s death, there are changes. I don’t know what will linger, but for now I’m seeing life and its finality more vividly than ever, appreciating how swiftly vitality at any speed is reduced to zero, full-stop, THE END. I know, that’s what death is, but there is more to it right now for me. Calling it incalculable is an avoidance cop-out. I’m not sure I’m ready to share all the feelings yet, but be assured there are many more than I expected.
Like life, to be continued …
Mark Kolke
198,016
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: -8C/ 18F, temperature rising – spring is so so so close – more light fluffy snow, fresh rabbit tracks for Gusta’s nose to chase.
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
So sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. I have been out of town and not in touch with regular day to day but wanted to send my regrets. As my parents get older I realize that the best gift I can give them is time and since they live so far away those visits are not as often as I wish. However, when I do visit it is the “essence of the time together” that makes those days, hours and minutes special. They may repeat stories several times and each time the details are different or they could speak of an incident long ago that is as clear as the sun on a bright day. Regardless, it is in those moments where we have chosen to be totally with them in mind and body - ready to help, willing to listen, able to care and always to love, that we appreciate them for everything they have been to us and what a remarkable gift they are. Through the many stories and reflections you have shared with us over the years about you and your Dad, it is clear - that “essence of time” was shared by you and your father and that “gift” will live in your heart as you continue your journey of life. United in spirit, RB, Calgary, AB
Re: Uncle Hubert … Hi Mark. So sorry to hear about your loss . I will miss our annual Christmas time telephone visits. Marg's uncle Bill who lived a few doors from your Father sent me the Obituary, WN, Kelowna, BC
