JUST A MIND GAME – MY MIND GAME
Thursday Oct. 16, 2014
Happiness has so many causes, it seems, so I wonder why can’t we cause, spur, provoke and enable more of it?
If we cause more for ourselves though, without causing some for anyone else, that seems greedy which probably does not contribute to happiness so much or so well.
I don’t think there are only two alternatives but we seem to live in a world where that measuring tool has been used for thousands of years to separate haves from have-nots, separate those of value from those without.
Religion and other philosophies suggest that happiness, if not equivalent to goodness, is certainly its companion.
In other words – be good, and you will be happy. I think we all see lots of contradictory evidence.
Am I preoccupied with getting happy, being happy or being happier?
Yes. All of those.
Morning news fright-filled: ebola, stock-markets, commodity market volatility, endless streams of political folly. Best not start there.
Morning thoughts – fitness, healthy-ness and happiness … maybe I’ll start there.
Happiness ruminations, what that word means, galvanize my state of mind.
Can we control or influence it?
Is it something we manifest differently, arouse some other way, than how we seek and get other things in our life?
We so often equate value (might mean happiness), worth (ditto) and purpose (that’s different) with success, accomplishment and accumulation of money, of wealth.
Dollars = happy.
Money buys everything. We are oft-told it cannot buy happiness. Really?
Is commerce and media selling us a bill of goods?
Absolutely.
The more we buy, the happier THEY are.
Conversely, poorest of the poor find happiness, don’t they, somehow?
That guy driving hairpin turns in coolest new wheels looks happy to me, but is he?
The homeless wheel-less man on a street corner laughing with friends looks happy too.
Is he?
If money does not define happiness, what does?
Grandchildren. Children. Not just mine, but anyone’s. Happy every waking moment.
Sure, there are cries, screams, hurts and ouch-moments daily – but only as punctuation in their full-happy days.
ull of happy.
I want more of that.
It seems free, available to all.
Why do tiny-babes get it, but grown-ups need to relearn this fundamental?
Happiness, the more I read about it and study it, the more I think about it – is just a mind game.
I mine my mind. I mind my mind. I mind my minded mind.
Just a game, but such an important one.
Mark Kolke
column written/ published from Calgary
morning walk: 4C / 40F, overcast, light breeze – Gusta seems to be getting bored with our usual route so maybe a change is in order; my bones are nearing-end-of-week weary … in need of more sleep, or more working-out .. not sure which. Possibly both!
Reader feedback / comments always welcome:
Good morning Mark, I certainly can relate to your blog today as I have the same problem of staying focused and having my own pity-party as lately things have happened in my life that I have no control over and has got me down. As you said to be healthy physically, emotionally and to be happy is a choice each of us have to make as no one else can make that happen for you. I am trying hard every day to make that choice for myself and your blog today helped me to realize that I am not alone in my struggle and like you I need to make each day a happy day for myself. I was also sorry to read that you were alone on Thanksgiving. I am glad friends reach out to you! Have a great day!, SP, Calgary, AB
Hey Mark, Its Caroline. I've ben feeling the same way today, funny how that happens. I'm positive all the time and I just don't let people see me vulnerable. I wonder about that, why don't I let people see me at my weakest? I remember having brunch with you and I just started crying over my recent breakup. I've never done that since, especially not in front of a man. I believe the strongest are the ones that need that hug and that shoulder more so then the weakest. I feel that my romantic relationships never lasted because I didn't allow them to see me at my most vulnerable. Since I'm so positive 95% of the time, when I'm down people just give me affirmations but what I really want is a hug and I shoulder to vent on or just to lean on. So yes, I believe that I'm responsible for myself and everything about me and I take full accountability for my ups and lows. I chose to be happy but I just have to find my balance of allowing people in when I'm not at my fabulous perfect self!! :) , CF, Edmonton, AB
Great column and is very indicative of my own reflection. I’m training hard these days – training to pause and listen before reacting, training to have more patience when time is such a precious commodity, training to lose weight, training to blow off steam and stress. The operative word is training (or practice) as I don’t believe there is a final result until the ultimate final result. Striving, continuing to be better with each day and being able to look back and say “OK, it did go fast but here’s what’s taken off the list”! Cheers, RA, Calgary, AB
